you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
vagina is talking i cant
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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