Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
