Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize