Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
