I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
