omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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