Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
