it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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