i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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