Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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