Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
