I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
