Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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