You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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