Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dicks are not precious.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
