i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
