if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
