nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
