It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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