You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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