My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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