the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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