did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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