I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
