the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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