in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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