she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize