You made me cry and you don't even care
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize