yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
