Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
