I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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