I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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