wrigley field is MILF paradise
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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