I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
