Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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