we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
