I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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