There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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