my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
