have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
