WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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