Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
