He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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