before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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