I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
