i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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