So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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