somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
