Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
