Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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