We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
then he tried to convert me to islam
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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