She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
