The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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