Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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