She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
