he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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