he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
