Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
