I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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