I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i already hear my dad disowning me
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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