if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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