My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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