ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
