Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
