Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
false alarm, still single
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