and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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