Are we in a gay sports bar?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
