some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
