Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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