i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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