Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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